Twenty years ago I made a very conscious shift in the way I was going to live my life. I was no longer going to base my expectations of life on what I’d seen, been told, or felt prior to that moment, but rather I would base my expectations on what I wanted to see and feel going forward. I went from being a penniless and confused college student, to earning a masters degree and becoming very successful in business. I bought a Lexus cash. Met an amazing women, and realized many of my most passionate dreams. And I don’t say that stuff to boast. If you know me in person you know that. I only say it to encourage you to take what I’m about to say to heart.
Over the next few posts I am going to share some of the deepest understandings that I have come to over two decades of study and practice, and they have absolutely changed my life. And if you implement them, they will probably change your life too. The first lesson on my list is about raising our expectations.
Note, starting off, some very wise Buddhist friends for instance might point out that having expectations can actually be the root of all suffering. And while this may be true in some ways, what I am about to say transcends that completely, because I am talking about the core expectations that come from the depths of your subconscious being, and not the one’s put up by your ego.
The central premise here is that our life is based around what we attract. Failure to understand or believe this is a misunderstanding about how life works. But even when we do begin to understand it, we then have to realize that 70% of what we do in a day is based on our subconscious programming (actually, some experts say north of 90% is subconscious). For many of you reading this, that won’t be news to you.
But what may be news to you is that more than anything else, the primary element that is determining your fate is what your own subconscious expectations are for it. Yes, I will restate that another way. Your expectations largely dictate your vibration.
* Your expectations about how people will treat you, is largely how most people will treat you
* Your expectations about how much money you will have will largely determine how much money you will have
* Your expectations about your health largely determine how healthy you will be
* Your expectations about romantic relationships largely determine what kind of relationships you will have
In other words, what you expect of all of those things I just listed is often how they turn out. And remember, I’m talking mostly subconscious here, which is how we operate most often. If I ask you consciously if you want people to treat you well, of course you will say yes. But often times your subconscious expectations tell a much different story, because deep down you may believe that people won’t or don’t tend to like you as much as you would hope.
This is a key point. There are two sides to every coin in our subconscious. There’s abundance mindset, and scarcity mindset. If the issue is about getting a job you love, you could be consciously asking for it every day. But your mindset may be coming from the scarcity side of things, as though there aren’t enough good jobs, and you really aren’t all that deserving or qualified. In that case you can desire the new job all you want, but if you deep down don’t expect it, it
may not probably won’t happen.
Another important factor to understand here is that these expectations are not the kind you put on others. For example, I may expect my friend to call me today, and if they don’t then I may get hurt or disappointed in them. Those kinds of expectations will almost always fail you, because you are trying to manipulate what others will think and do. Instead, the important thing is to expect that you are worthy of love and friendship. Once you truly believe that about yourself, others will too. And after that you won’t even be upset if that friend didn’t call you, because you won’t take it as a rejection of your own worth. It will simply be what it is. Both external and internal circumstances will change based on your internal expectations.
And this isn’t always some deep and mystical type of thing. For instance, if you expect to be healthy, you will naturally feel inspired to do healthy things. And because those actions are coming from inspiration, you will enjoy learning about them and you’ll sustain in doing them. Those steps often lead to good health. It often is just that simple.
I use the word “largely” in my statements above instead of “always” because in my experience of 7 Billion plus people on this earth and 15,000 years of human ripple effects, there are sometimes things that are bigger than our own individual experiences. For example, did I personally cause 9/11 in New York City to happen because of my expectations? No. Maybe collectively I contributed in some way, but it wasn’t all on me. Maybe there is a lesson for humanity to learn from it, but not everything that happens is solely all on you or I. That event effected every single person on planet earth. To think that every single occurrence in life is solely on us is to become fundamentalist about universal laws. And quite honestly, it’ll probably make you crazy. The most important laws are almost always paradoxical. This truth may only come for some after years of practice.
But don’t let those corner cases become a crutch. I do think the overwhelming majority of our experiences are caused by our own personal beliefs. For a large part of what we attract, we are largely responsible for the occurrence of it, and even more importantly, we are 100% responsible in the way we interpret and react to it.
Some of my more skeptical friends like to have fun trying to entrap folks who make these types of statements. They ask if the starving and poor person in Africa is that way because they expected it??? And to that I emphatically say in large part YES! Why would they expect anything else? They were born into it. They saw it their whole life. There are few opportunities for a better situation. And there are plenty of obstacles to keep them in a struggling modality. So absolutely their expectations contribute largely to it. But consider this. If anyone ever does transcend that situation, they almost always do so only because they expected more for themselves. They did not let the reality around them limit their expectations. It is essential to understand that distinction.
I hope this was helpful in some way to you. I encourage you to take some time to really absorb it, as I often remind myself to do as well. I plan to share more of these key foundations for raising one’s elevation in the coming months, and I think you are really going to benefit from them. You
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